I'm feeling a little bummed today. It's crazy! The weather is beautiful, today's Daily OM is inspiring, I have a class tonight, so what's up?
While falling asleep last night I was looking forward to class tonight, like a kid on Christmas Eve kind of excited. I wish I could take more classes during the week but it is hard with my schedule. I leave my house at 7 am and get home by 7 pm (if I'm coming straight home from work, no class). I eat dinner and don't really get settled until about 9:00 pm. By this time I'm tired, full from dinner, showered, and don't even want to try to practice at home.
A couple of years back I was on a serious roll with 3-4 classes a week. Now it seems like something I try to squeeze in during the week. After trying several gyms and growing bored of them after a few months, Yoga is the only form of exercise I have been able to commit to. Sometimes, like now, I feel like I'm deprived from it and it makes me sad. I feel it physically too as I feel sloppy and fat. I'm seriously hating my body today. I know I'm not benefiting as much from an asana practice as I should be.
I can honestly say that practicing is the only time I feel strong, confident, awesome, give or take the few challenging poses that make me fumble but I'm talking about overall, it makes me feel good. I wish I could feel this way more and not just from doing yoga. Sometimes I worry that I might depend on yoga to feel good about myself, it's my only escape. You know how some rely on their girl/boyfriend, money, alcohol, or sex to feel good about themselves? It's just a strange idea I have. I'm sure I'll feel better once I leave work and walk to the studio.
I'm just not in a good situation right now as far as living so far from my job and not being close to anything I'm interested in. There's NOTHING where I live. I've become one of those folks that slaves away in an office and doesn't get much fulfillment in anything else, only fantasizes about it. I never thought I would become that person.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
I need more.
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5 comments:
I don't feel right without yoga either. I need to practice every single day, and I confess that when I have time, I practice twice. I figure if you are going to be addicted to something, make it something good for you, like yoga! Hope your week improves.
Oh, sorry to hear that it is such a rough time right now... I can relate to what you said about being dependent on yoga- it's that whole thing about "on the mat- off the mat" yoga. I ain't there yet myself.
I think it's great that we can all talk so freely and openly about what yoga does for us and how we are feeling... we need each other.
xoxo
sigh, I am, sadly, very familiar with how you are feeling. Yoga was once my everything, now, I'm lucky if I get a home workout once a month.
I'm trying to convince my brain that walking my new dog is really yoga. Do you think that would help??
Megan, walking your dog could be considered a walking meditation which is a form of yoga so yes, walking your dog could be yoga. :)
I wish I could take more classes as well but have the same problem as you with the work situation. I do try to get up super early most days to practice when I can't get to class but it can run me down a little. I think it's okay not to practice asana everyday. We need to find a balance with our lives.
Hey, how about doing a session during your lunch hour? Or walk home from work (in the last stretch so it only takes 30-60 mins)? When I can't do a yoga session, I try to walk on that day and find that gets me out of a funk.
Another thing that keeps me motivated and interested is a quote (yep, I love my quotes LOL) by Kevin Farrow -
"Give yourself about 15 to 30 minutes a day to practice. If you don't have 15 to 30 minutes a day, try 10 to 15 minutes a day. If you can't find 10 minutes a day, you know you have no interest." Kevin Farrow, The Natural Alchemist
I think if you can do this, take just 10 minutes a day to practice, you will get your spark back!
Can you change your current situation? It's not worth staying in a situation if it unhealthy for you. I hope you feel better soon!!
x
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