Monday, April 30, 2007
While walking I felt so at peace, so calm, my thoughts were not heavy. I wondered if this was what a walking meditation is suppose to be like. I've never done it before, or maybe I have and just not know? I would stop here and there and snap a shot. There is a couple more in my flickr account.
Saturday, April 28, 2007
Swing on over to Every Little Thing and behold the wonderful, vintage cupcake toppers on these yummy lovelies...
Every Little Thing is one of my favorite blogs to read. Amanda Bel makes great stuff and is a very talented crafter.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Last night's class was a bust. I did something during the day to hurt my lower back again. I still went to class but I took it easy. I was still disappointed that I couldn't do more. I told Lip, my teacher, beforehand that my back was a little wonky and I'm sure she kept that in mind as we did a lot of twisting. There was one point she had us practice drop-backs against the wall and I was tugging on her pant leg whimpering "I don't think I can drop back today." "It's ok" she said, "Supta Badha Konansana for you." WOO HOO! Actually, class was full of injuries. One has a neck problem, another had a shoulder pain, another had a "My entire left side is sore from skiing" issue, my back, it was a lot to work with.
I don't recall doing anything to hurt my back. Maybe it was just my overall demeanor yesterday. I was really sad and depressed and I was probably letting it take it's toll physically. I bet I was slouching in my chair most of the day with my shoulders up to my ears. It's been a rough couple of days emotionally and it's been a week since I've done any meditating. Tomorrow morning I'm getting back on that zen-wagon!
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
I'm feeling a little bummed today. It's crazy! The weather is beautiful, today's Daily OM is inspiring, I have a class tonight, so what's up?
While falling asleep last night I was looking forward to class tonight, like a kid on Christmas Eve kind of excited. I wish I could take more classes during the week but it is hard with my schedule. I leave my house at 7 am and get home by 7 pm (if I'm coming straight home from work, no class). I eat dinner and don't really get settled until about 9:00 pm. By this time I'm tired, full from dinner, showered, and don't even want to try to practice at home.
A couple of years back I was on a serious roll with 3-4 classes a week. Now it seems like something I try to squeeze in during the week. After trying several gyms and growing bored of them after a few months, Yoga is the only form of exercise I have been able to commit to. Sometimes, like now, I feel like I'm deprived from it and it makes me sad. I feel it physically too as I feel sloppy and fat. I'm seriously hating my body today. I know I'm not benefiting as much from an asana practice as I should be.
I can honestly say that practicing is the only time I feel strong, confident, awesome, give or take the few challenging poses that make me fumble but I'm talking about overall, it makes me feel good. I wish I could feel this way more and not just from doing yoga. Sometimes I worry that I might depend on yoga to feel good about myself, it's my only escape. You know how some rely on their girl/boyfriend, money, alcohol, or sex to feel good about themselves? It's just a strange idea I have. I'm sure I'll feel better once I leave work and walk to the studio.
I'm just not in a good situation right now as far as living so far from my job and not being close to anything I'm interested in. There's NOTHING where I live. I've become one of those folks that slaves away in an office and doesn't get much fulfillment in anything else, only fantasizes about it. I never thought I would become that person.
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
After the funk I was in yesterday, yoga class last night really got me out of it which I knew it would. I can't rave enough about my instructor, Lip, and how cool she is. She is unlike any other instructor I've taken. Her classes are pretty fun and dare I say, unorthodox. In the middle of class when she has us in an awkward, difficult pose she'll tell us a little story about her retreat house in the Catskills and chasing chickens and encountering bears in her living room. True story. Anything to keep us from thinking "I hate this pose!!" ya know? And it works!
Last night we were in, what's called "Ninja Death" (I'm sure there's an actual yoga name for it somewhere). I never heard this name before but I've done this pose many times. It is when you place your mat at the wall. Face away from the wall. Bend the right knee on the mat and place the right shin against the wall with your toes pointing up while your left leg is bent like a lunge, then you pivot your hips forward and OW you feel it in the front of your right thigh. It's a pretty intense pose (I wish I could find a picture of it). Anyway, here we are breathing very, very heavy. Lip says "Just be thankful that you're not a spider."
"What???" one of the students ask. She says, "If you were, you'd have to do this eight times." There's a pause and then a burst of laughter. I love when we have moments like that in class (which is often with this teacher). I can't explain it but at that moment I forgot about what I was feeling throughout the day and able to just be present. Hooray for not being a spider!
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
I so need it.
It's been a rough couple of mornings with the flooding. It has brought out the beast in me.
I wish I can get to the point where I don't need yoga to feel peace and calm. I am a very hot-headed person, and a lot of things bother me and get to me. While I'm big on the yoga and the zen and the buddha and the blah blah blah, I am very far from the "stereotype" of a person who is into those things. And even that pisses me off. When does yoga equal never losing your temper? Don't you do yoga? What about all those books you read? Drives me insane! It makes me want to scratch someone.
I can't explain the way my mind works. I try to observe my thoughts and I try not to cling to them but sometimes it does happen. Give me a break will ya?
Saturday, April 14, 2007
Have a good weekend and good luck! :)
Friday, April 13, 2007
I'm listening to Kainchi Hare Krishna by Krishna Das. I'm on my computer working on some stuff and I'm sitting here bopping my head and singing (or chanting) along because it's just a damn good song. It's is a pretty happy song actually (all 15 minutes of it). Then the strangest thing happened. My eyes started tearing up a little. I don't know if it's PMS or what. I'm not sad, I feel fine. Just listening to the song moved me that much. Emotions can be so weird sometimes.
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Hello everyone! How goes it? I'm on a little vacation this week. Just taking a mental break from the office where I get to hang out and just chill. I've taken a couple of classes already this week during the day that were just simply delicious. Ever had a class like that? Where instead of just keeping up, you feel strong and stable and just ready to try anything? That was how I felt.
Today I'm staying home and taking care of some business like posting a bunch of auctions on Ebay, catching up with my favorite blogs, and standing on my head. :) I have done a lot of walking the last couple of days and my legs feel tired. My shins are feeling especially sore. That happens whenever I do a lot of walking. It is such an awkward body part to stretch out. How do you do? I'm still not certain I know what to do. It is easy to stretch the calves but what about the muscles in front of your leg? Too bad I don't know any runners. Maybe they might have a tip. I don't know if sitting in Virasana would do anything. Maybe stretch out the tops of my feet but it's not enough.
Sunday, April 8, 2007
Friday, April 6, 2007
Seems like lately I've been talking about practicing with one physical kink or another. A few days ago I was on my way to work and I took a pretty mean fall where my left knee took most of it. I was fine, I got right back up, utter some expletives and kept going but man did it hurt. I got a nice pretty bruise to show it. So class last night was interesting to see how I would be able to handle the simplest "knees/chest/chin" to anything kneeling, oooowwww!!!! I banged up my knee pretty bad apparently although it feels fine to walk and to bend it. Pressing it against the floor was not a good feeling. Blankets were my friend last night. Ever try to do knees/chest/chin with one leg straight? It's weird.
The class overall was wonderful. We began with one of my favorite chants: Om Namah Shivaya, Shivaya Namah Om.
We did different variations of Natarajasana standing and seated with straps; no one in the room could actually grab their foot. It felt sooo good. Basically you make a loop with the strap, the smaller the loop, the more challenging it becomes. You loop it around your foot, place your hand in the loop with your elbow pit facing outward and start to bend the elbow down, out, and up and then grab it with the other hand and start drawing your chest forward with your head and foot towards each other. There is something very cathartic about opening your chest, letting your shoulders go and just surrender.