Wednesday, March 28, 2007

My Ego is SUPER

Finally, a real yoga entry. Sorry for the lack of updates, I've been slacking a bit with the practicing. I did go to class last night. It was a GORGEOUS day out, 78 degrees, the first really warm day of the year and I wondered if anyone would even show up. I completely forgot that we were having a sub as my regular instructor is out doing God knows what. So nice weather + substitute = no showing up? I was wrong and a lot of folks did come also forgetting that our regular teacher was out. So ok, I'll deal with the sub. I have nothing against subs, it's something different but last night the teacher and my ego completely kicked my ass.

This particular class is attended by other instructors in the studio, so one of them requested a "hard" class, whatever that means. The class wasn't so much hard as it was awkward, that's the best word I can use for it. Not so much flow as it was more awkward transitions between the poses. I confess I lost control and my mind for most of the class was saying "I'm HATING this! What the fuck are we doing????" It felt like everything we did cause a pull, strain, tightening of something. Whatever it is, I shouldn't have felt it. It's one thing for feeling the stretch and feeling your muscles working but it's another for your body to say "What are you doing? Don't do that!!!" The only positive thing I got out of the class was a different approach to Peacock pose (Mayurasana). It makes all the difference if you have wrist problems to turn your fingers slightly outward instead of pointing straight back. My wrists are pretty weak so that tiny adjustment really helped me get further into the pose.

Mind you, the folks requesting a "hard" class rested for most of the time while the rest of us slugged onward. I don't blame them, I guess they didn't know what they were asking for. I just did not like the way my body was feeling. I felt very limited, I kept thinking about my heart, and I was completely off-centered. I tried to let it all go and be present but my pride won that battle. Oh well, those are the breaks. Not every class is gonna be great and not every instructor's teaching style is suitable for you.

Tomorrow night's class I'm looking forward to. This instructor, Shri, is going to be on leave soon for surgery. I recently found out that she has a blog talking about it, Paper or Dysplastic?, check it out!

5 comments:

Becky (yogaglamgirl) said...

I'm curious...how did you feel after the class? light and refreshed, as if seeing the world more clearly? or agitated? or frustrated? or happy that you pushed through even though some part of you hinted to slow down? often for me, when I move out of body and into my head or ego I feel worse after the class than I did to begin with...I'm wondering if that happened to you too...

Regina Clare Jane said...

I really don't know what is worse in a situation like that- feeling so put out by the actual class itself or not honoring yourself and your body's inner wisdom... it would have been difficult for me also...
I hope your class tonight went much better... but as I have been told before, look for the lessons in every situation you find yourself in, no matter how awkward or distasteful... there is always something to be learned...

Cupcakes & Yoga said...

Becky, I felt ok after class, kind of indifferent really. I was glad that I was able to stick through with it as I had thoughts of just walking out of the class. I've never walked out of a class before but I was soooo tempted.

RCJ, I'm still trying to figure out the lesson in this one. If this was a test, I think I failed.

Health Bites said...

I've had a class like this and it always happens when I have a sub. I think I put a barrier up when I am taught by someone new. I don't know why. I get comfortable with the way one teacher teaches and then am thrown because it's always a little more challenging to learn a different teacher's style. Having said that though, I end up loving the sub for different reasons and alternate between 4-6 teachers now. I think it's cool that we can still learn something from a "hard" class we think we are hating :-)

Linda (Sama) said...

wow. dealing with a sub....

I subbed a class for a teacher who is known for teaching an "advanced" or "hard" class, whatever that means. I can also teach a "hard" or "advanced" class, but in a different way.

A student came in, saw me, looked confused, asked if I was subbing. I said yup, you're stuck with me today.... She asked, "is your class 'intense'?" Another instructor -- who is always glad to take any class I sub -- was sitting behind this student and heard her comment. She looked at me, shocked, and then started to get angry that a student would ask that.

I looked at the woman and smiled and asked her "what do you mean by 'intense'?" She didn't know, and started to stumble over her words. I just stood there smiling.

What I really wanted to tell this woman was "yeah, my class is so fucking intense, your kundalini is going to blow the top of your head off!"

Ah....egos....and beginners' minds.....