Tuesday, February 6, 2007

Life in Yoga?

I'm looking forward to class tonight. It's that Yoga Express class I checked out last week at OM. I'm using up an AmEx giftcard I got for Christmas and I haven't been able to decide what to buy so I'm using it for yoga classes instead. I don't know what I'm going to do once that runs out. I may keep going or I may check out a studio mentioned in Everything Yoga. There is a studio down in the East Village I didn't even know about called Yoga To The People (YTTP) where all classes are on a donation basis. After checking out the site I had a good feeling about the place:

In a time where yoga as a business is getting a lot of attention, the fact that it is being priced out of many people’s reach is in direct conflict with what we consider to be the spirit of yoga itself.

They really stress how yoga is for everyone and they welcome all backgrounds, shapes and sizes. Their shirts are even affordable. The pictures of studio look really nice and cozy and not like a dungeon. You also see the diversity of students practicing which is nice to see too. Eventually I hope to check this place out too.

Recently I have been thinking more about my life and what I'm doing and where I'm headed. The truth is, I have no direction right now. I work to pay my bills. I feel like I have nothing to look forward to. I'm jealous (in a good way) of people I see pursuing their dreams, their passions, their interests whether it's leaving your office job to go back to school for cooking or starting your own craft business. Good for them! I want that too! I seem to have hit a rut where I'm thinking more about what exactly it is I want to do. What are my dreams and passions?

I have a lot of interest - writing, photography, crafts, and recently baking. It's different with Yoga. I love doing it, I love reading about it, I love watching others do it, I love talking about it, I love writing about it. So why not take it to the next, deeper level? A couple of years ago when I started to take my yoga practice more seriously I had thought about becoming a teacher but was apprehensive. I was concerned about my lack of experience and my physique. I was insecure and making excuses, "Everyone wants to be a yoga teacher now!" I would think so why jump on that bandwagon? It's good that I didn't go ahead with the idea at that time. Two years later I have started to think about it again only this time I don't want to make excuses. The insecurity is still there but at least I have a stronger practice now and have gained some more knowledge about it.

I read this entry from the blog Om Shanti the other day. My first thought was I'm not quitting my day job!!! I know that off the bat I won't have classes scheduled every day and list of private clients I can charge $100/hr for. The truth is, I don't wish to be a glorified instructor wearing my flashy Lululemon outfits (as cute as they may be) leading a room of 30+ people. Ultimately, I want to help those who are afraid to try Yoga, who are apprehensive because of their weight or another disability. I would love to teach at a place like YTTP over OM Yoga any day. Even if it's just teaching one class a week at the local Y on a volunteer basis would make me happy. I'm fortunate to have a job that I like with good benefits and flexibility so I don't think I'm ready to give that up yet. I just want to add teaching to the mix.

I need to give this some more thought and I seem to have time. All the Fall programs have started so I would have to wait until Spring if I do decide to enroll. Of course I first need to get a clean bill of health from my doctors. If my heart is gonna be fussy then I can't afford to mess with that or else I won't be able to do yoga at all!


heather said...

I just found your blog, great post, small world. I am a yoga teacher, last night I was teaching a class and read to my students the mantra of Yoga For The People. I too discovered them through Everything Yoga. Hope you get to take a class there sometime. A Yoga Teacher Training program will change your life in beautiful ways, regardless if you intend to teach or just want to deepen your practice. More than you could imagine is available to you. Good luck, Namaste.

Denise said...

I also just found your blog and was very inspired. I once was a very loyal yoga student, but then for some reason more and more people started to come to class and I started to feel insecure and not good enough to be there. I know that is the opposite of what I should have felt in yoga. I still try to practice at home and i do love reading about it as well. I think that by the sounds of it, you would make a marvelous teacher.
thanks for inspiration today.

Cupcakes & Yoga said...

Thank you Heather for your insight!

Denise, you're breaking my heart! Of course you have every right to be in that room with everyone else. I always have to remind myself that no one is looking at me just like I'm not really checking out anyone else during class. I hope you would reconsider. While there is nothing wrong with practicing on your own at home (God bless ya b/c I can't seem to pull that off), sometimes it's nice to practice with others and feel that energy that's there. It also helps to have the instruction of a teacher to help guide the way.

yogaglamgirl said...

I can COMPLETELY relate to your desire to pursue things you're passionate about. What if you let your curiousity and sense of adventure take you...and enroll in a yoga teacher training...or a cooking class..or find other artsy souls like yourself to collaborate and create with. No need to quit the day job just yet. Play a little, better define your vision, keep that vision clear, and then go for it!!!